My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
