youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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