Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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