Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
