it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
