Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm sobbing to NWA
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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