my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
