Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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