Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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