kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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