Dual....:-)
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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