a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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