Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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