bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
