just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
