i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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