We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize