Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
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The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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