At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
