i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
