Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Enjoy the penises
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
