We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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