i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize