you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits