Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize