Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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