just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
