Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
