At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges