i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.