Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.