eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
send nudes
from the living room?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
