i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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