Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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