yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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