Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
