it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
