4 words: hood of his car
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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