Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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