That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
