Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
