I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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