I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
