Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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