I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
