I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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