nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
