I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i would one night stand the shit outta him
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
