well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
