need another drink. this is the easiest way
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
