Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
