Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
