they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
