Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
