Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
