im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
