if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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