opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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