Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize