Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
