How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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