I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
