it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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