I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
