ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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