i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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