i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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