Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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