That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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