omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
