turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
